It took me a while to realize it but I needed to move on from my dream of becoming a famous singer/songwriter. This past couple of years has taught me that I need to adapt to my surroundings and make myself happy with whatever I choose to do. It makes me happy to sing and play my guitar but I can't seem to write new songs that support that happiness. The happiness I feel now compared to how I felt 5 years ago reflects in my songwriting. I can't sing the same songs that I wrote back then and feel happy about them. Looking through my binder of songs makes me depressed seeing how I used to feel. How lonely I was. Now that I have found the man that I want to be with the rest of my life(hopefully), those songs don't apply to me anymore. I used to be a person that I don't even want to recognize anymore. On the outside I looked different and felt different, same thing is happening now. I just want to be content with who I am on the outside and the inside. I am about 40lbs heavier than I was when I met Dave. That's why I want to go down a different road now. I want to hopefully better myself and help other people with doing the same. I am going back to school in January to pursue a Bachelor's Degree in Nutrition specializing in Dietetics. I have been toying with this idea since the beginning of last year when I was really trying to lose weight and having no luck. I could learn a lot more on how our bodies work and hopefully come up with a fitness plan and sticking to it. Ever since I started working at Nestle a few years back I was putting on the pounds. Not sure if it was mostly muscle but I was eating a lot and was so tired from work that I wouldn't exercise. This past year I lost almost 12 lbs of it and gained it all back when I quit my job at Walgreens to pursue songwriting. I've really lost my motivation to stick to a plan, whether it be fitness or diet. Dave says I should be eating less than I do and he is right but it is hard. I need to eat less and exercise more. I would ride my bike or do something outside right now but it's been really rainy here lately. I want to get a treadmill or something.....maybe Jillian DVD's can help or maybe Zumba. I just really need to start doing something because I don't want to get out of school and look like a hippocrit.
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